Along the Lines of a Letter

Dear Love,

I met a boy about a week ago. It’s funny, but I met him the day after I wrote the last letter. His name is Michael Loveless, and is a lineman on the football team and plays right field for the baseball team. He has auburn hair and brown eyes, broad shoulders with thick, muscled arms, and a smile that makes my heart flip. Standing taller than me with shoulders twice as broad, an incredible sense of charm, and undeniable self confidence, I thought he was everything I could want. We grew close, and quickly, and I started falling. It turns out that it doesn’t take long to become attached enough to have your heart broken. One week was all it took this time.

He won’t talk to me anymore. It’s as if I didn’t exist to him, as if I was never a part of his life. All because I wouldn’t sleep with him. He would try to say otherwise, but when it comes down to it, he wouldn’t wait, and I wouldn’t lost my virginity to a guy I had only known for seven days. It tore me to shreds to walk away, seared my stomach to see him turn away as I tried to hug him goodbye, made my heart stop as he left me, broken, in the streets, watching as he went back inside.

I wish you were here to hold me and tell me that he isn’t worth it. I wish I knew you so that I could curl up in your arms and have you kiss me, and let that kiss erase the heartache, because if you were here, he wouldn’t matter. If you were here, it wouldn’t matter that he has a blonde already attached to his arm, and it wouldn’t matter that I listened to “Almost Lover” and “Better Than Me” repeatedly during third period. He wouldn’t matter, if you were here.

But you’re not here, not right now. Someday you will be, but not right now.

I miss you. I love you. I wish you'd find me soon.

With Love,

Somewhere

Along the Lines of Yet Another Song

"Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy


Your fingertips across my skin


The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick



Well, I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me



[Chorus]

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do



We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left, you kissed my lips

You told me you would never, never forget

These images



No



Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me



[Chorus]

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do



I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine



Did I make it that

Easy to walk right in and out

Of my life?



[Chorus]

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should have known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

Along the Lines of The Scarlet Letter

Nathaniel Hawthorne has an uncanny ability to make every sentence, every word, chalk full of meaning and symbolism.  Unfortunately for many, it is commonly found on the curriculum for eleventh grade students in Utah to dissect his words and find the deepest of meanings in the pictures he creates.  Personally, I love it.  I love the ability Hawthorne had to think and express well, everything. 

I had the strange thought in Sunday school that Cain is much like Hester Prynne.  God supposedly prevented anyone from killing him, but he wore a mark of his sin that was visible to everyone.  While he did not necessarily have a corporal punishment, he was forced to display his sin to everyone and live with that shame.  It makes you wonder which punishment is worse.

Anyways, as part of the project of reading the book, we are required to decorate a letter that stands for a particular weakness, sin, or shameful thing about ourselves.  As I was contemplating what letter to use and for which shameful attribute to display, I wasn't too surprised that I didn't find much - if anything - that I was ashamed to share.  The shame or embarrassment would come in the explanation to people I'd rather not discuss some of those attributes with.  I finally settled on one that accomodated most of my options, a blue, cursive "A."

Already it has been interesting to watch as people try to guess and understand the symbols we are asked to wear on our chest.  Prejudice and quick conclusions are drawn up unrightfully, and each person in AP Language is judged according to their letters.  It isn't required that we explain what our transgression is to everyone, however, it's amusing in a sad sort of way to listen to the embarrassment in the voices of the marked students as they explain, and I smile at the thought that it does not bother me to wear my little letter A.  Even if I were to broadcast the word it represents, no one would truly understand the symbolism and meaning it holds for me.

Just like no one truly understands the symbolism and meaning The Scarlet Letter holds for Nathaniel Hawthorne.